Uncharted Insanity
by The Insanities
Summary: The Insanities come into contact with a certain Leviathan...
1. Part One

Uncharted Insanity 

By Mithborien of The Insanities

~*~*~*~

Disclaimer: Farscape belongs to the Jim Henson Company and those soulless bastards at the SciFi Channel (sorry, see the end for the reason of that comment), rather than belonging me, if it belonged to me it would still be on the air and running strong.

Setting: Sometime in Season 2, let's say just before the Liars, Guns and Money trilogy when Zhaan was still alive and everybody was just a little bit crazy.

Spoilers: Up to season 2 unless something goes horribly wrong.

~*~*~*~

"Anything interesting?"

            Darth Sus looked up as Mithborien walked into command, then shook her head.

            "Nope," she replied. "Nothing but the cold vast reaches of space. The mind numbing tedium of constant blackness."

            "That's nice." Mithborien sat down and stared out a porthole.

            "The inky expanse of the universe-"

            "Okay."

            "The boredom of ever surrounding darkness-"

            "I said _okay_!"

            Darth Sus sniffed and said, "I was just trying to relieve the monotony."

            "Three days with only you two to keep company with is enough to drive anyone crazy," Jynethe announced as she too, entered command. "Except in our case we'd just loop back to normal again and who'd want that."

            "Too true," agreed Darth Sus.

            "Too bored."

            Mithborien was still looking out the porthole when suddenly there was a flash of blue light. Her jaw dropped open and she mouthed what looked suspiciously like, "Holy frell."

            Jynethe and Darth Sus both looked up and asked, "What?"

            They glared at each other before turning back to Mithborien. Still not saying a word she scrambled to her feet and pressed a button on a control panel. The main view screen flickered into life and showed a giant ship gliding through space before them. Flickers of blue lighting still played around its main body as what appeared to be its two main wings settled and stopped moving.

            "OmiGod," breathed Darth Sus. "That's… that's…"

            "That's Moya!" Mithborien finally managed to get out through the giant grin on her face. "We're in… we're in Farscape."

            "Farscape?" Jynethe asked confused.

            "No, wait it'd have to be the Uncharteds."

            "The Uncharteds?"

            "The Uncharted Territories." Mithborien paused. "Well, actually they're not really uncharted. I mean they're littered with commerce planets, colonies, the like but the PeaceKeepers have no jurisdiction here, hence the name."

            "Uhh." Jynethe looked to Darth Sus.

            "Trust me, she really does know all this stuff," Darth Sus replied.

            "That's not what I meant. What's Moya?"

            "Who actually," Mithborien corrected, still looking avidly at the ship.

            "She's a Leviathan," Darth Sus said. "It's where-"

            "We have to get on board," Mithborien interrupted, tapping a few controls.

            "Oh, definitely. I have to meet Chiana."

            "Hey, I wanna meet Crichton… ooh, wait, won't he recognise the Tardis?"

            "Relax," Darth Sus said also pressing a few buttons. "I just changed the outside of our ship. He won't recognise her."

            "How did you know how to do that?"

            "Sprout told me."

            "Oh."

            "Guys, what's going on?" Jynethe asked, plainly miffed because she was being ignored.

            "Okay, Moya's docking web just locked onto us and we are being towed aboard. Let's go."

            "Where?" wailed Jynethe.

            "Onboard," said Darth Sus as she grabbed Jynethe's arm and dragged her after the departing Mithborien. "We'll explain on the way."

            After what seemed like no time at all, the three Insanities slowly stepped out of the Tardis and into Moya's landing bay, Jynethe now sufficiently knowing enough about all things Farscape.

            "This is cool!" said Mithborien.

            Glowing bronze walls flowed outward from the huge floor. Benches and various crates were placed at the edges while in front of the three was a sleek black Prowler and a smooth white module with the 'United States' stamped on the side. Aside from those two ships and the Tardis everything else had a distinctly organic feel to it.

            "Where is everyone?" Darth Sus finally asked.

            "I don't know," Mithborien said, slightly confused. "Someone should be here by now. Surely Pilot would have notified them and D'Argo and Aeryn are suspicious enough to get here right away."

            "So where are they?"

            Mithborien shrugged.

            "Uh, guys, do you hear that?" Jynethe asked.

            "Hear what?" the other two replied.

            It was at that exact moment that the distinct echoing of approaching footsteps could be heard.

~*~*~*~

[Cue Farscape's credits music]

~*~*~*~

Dun dun dun.

Who will the footsteps belong to? Any suggestions? Can't say I'll listen to them.

Dun de dun dun.

Di do di do di do Dun!

Shut up, Mithborien.

I can help it, man. It's FARSCAPE!

AND THEY CANCELLED IT, THOSE S*** OF B******, HOW DARE THEY, BEST FRELLING SHOW IN THE UNIVERSE AND THEY TAKE IT OFF-

Sorry, the author has issues due to the lack of her sorely missed favourite show.


	2. Part Two

Uncharted Insanity 

By Mithborien of The Insanities

~*~*~*~

Yes, the Insanities are back, or at least one of them is but I think others have every intention of coming back as well. Sorry about the *ahem* six month break, we had issues, like school and homework and slacking off and homework. But we're back or as stated before at least one of us is… And if you still don't know who we are, check out our Bio, it'll explain all.

~*~*~*~

Part Two

~*~*~*~

The Insanities stood huddled together in a protective group as the footsteps drew nearer. Although to be perfectly honest they had as much chance of protecting each other as a food cube had against Rygel. But then since when are we honest.

            "Uh, just a thought," Jynethe said quickly. "We have no idea who that's gonna be, friend or enemy. Shouldn't we hide?"

            Mithborien glanced at Darth Sus and before Jynethe could ask again they both rolled way to hide, leaving Jynethe standing alone in the middle of the docking bay.

            "You guys are supposed to be my friends, god damn it," Jynethe wailed as she too belatedly ducked down behind a stack of crates.

            "Omi God," Mithborien whispered back.

            "Whatever!"

            "Shut up," Darth Sus admonished as the door light clicked green and the panel swung open.

            A familiar growl echoed through the bay, and The Insanities pressed further back into their hiding places a tall alien with tentacles and a frelling big sword came into view.

            "Who's that?" Jynethe asked in fear.

            "Ka D'Argo," Mithborien whispered back.

            "He has tentacles!"

            "Tenkas actually, but that's neither here nor there."

            "No but he is."

            "Ya."

            D'Argo uttered a string of unintelligible syllables, punctuated by deep growls, still prowling around the bay.

            "Uh oh, no translator microbes," Darth Sus hissed.

            "Yo, D, what up?" a new voice asked, this time in an American accent and perfectly understandable.

            Mithborien's face lit up in a smile. "Crichton." [The author may have a small crush but then who wouldn't… he has a gun and leather pants… what more could you want?]

            D'Argo replied in a couple more growls and the Insanities saw Crichton nod and draw his pulse pistol.

            "Who ever you are, just come out and no one will get hurt. We don't want any trouble."

            D'Argo muttered something under his breath.

            "Shut up, D'Argo," Crichton told him. "Don't listen to the Luxan," he shouted out. "And whatever you heard, don't worry, that's not physically possible."

            Jynethe gulped.

            Mithborien sighed. "Oh well, he'll sniff us out eventually." She stood up, ignoring Jynethe and Darth Sus's frantic attempts to pull her back down. "We're here but DON'T SHOOT!" She shouted the last two words as the butt of a qualta rifle and pulse pistol was aimed in her direction.

            D'Argo growled something at her to which Crichton echoed with, "Yeah, answer the question."

            Mithborien paused, looked furtively around her before admitting, "I can't, I don't understand him."

            D'Argo growled something at her again.

            Mithborien frowned. "What part of I don't understand you, don't you OW!" She hopped away from the protection of the crates and away from a buzzing little DRD who had just injected her with what she dearly hoped were translator microbes. Two other consecutive exclamations of pain told her Jynethe and Darth Sus had also been injected.

            D'Argo started growling again but this time the sounds petered out into, "…who the hezmana are you?"

            "My name is Mithborien and this is Darth Sus and Jynethe," she said quickly.

            "Your invisible friends?" Crichton asked and Mithborien realised Darth Sus and Jynethe were still in hiding. One swift kick took care of that.

            "Right," Crichton sighed as all three came into view. "What the hell are you three doing on Moya and what do you want?"

            "Well," Darth Sus began, "We're travellers and well, we saw your Leviathan and well, we've all heard off you guys, you know, the escaped prisoners and well, we decided to say hello and a thumbs up cause you know, you guys are great." She grinned.    

            "What kind of a freakin' explanation is that," Jynethe hissed.

            Crichton and D'Argo paused, looked at each other and then turned back to the Insanities. 

            "At least they're not critters."

            "I don't want to know what they are."

            "And at least they're not critters."

            "They could turn into critters."

            "Point."

            Crichton turned to them. "Okay, you guys don't look dangerous."

            "Right," Mithborien agreed.

            "But I said that about T'raltixx so until we figure out who you guys are, you're getting locked in a cell."

            All three Insanities burst out into protests and shouted a few as well but if you didn't know over six odd foot of Luxan is pretty hard to protest against, especially when one is dragging you along a pretty frictionless floor where digging in your heels is pretty much impossible.

            Crichton palmed the cell door shut and leaned in on the grating. "You guys can stay in here until we can get a chance to talk. Uh uh uh." He held up his pulse pistol. "Wynonna gets annoyed when people start complaining and I really don't give a rat's eema who you are at the moment or what the current Jerry Springer alien talk topic is today."

            "Jerry Springer?" D'Argo asked, wrinkling his nose.

            Crichton shook his head. "Entertainment. Chat show. Mud wrestling, divorces and drag queens." Crichton paused. "This crew'll fit right in." 

            "What the frell?"

            "Never mind, that's neither here nor there." The human turned back to the Insanities. "Moya's having a couple of problems. When those are sorted out, we'll be back. Ciao."

            Both he and D'Argo then disappeared out of view, leaving a lone DRD to guard the door.

            Jynethe frowned. "Who is that guy? He's crazy."

            "He's Crichton," Mithborien explained. "He had every right to be. He's been through a lot and trust me, that wasn't crazy for him."

            "Well this sucks," Darth Sus said. "What are we supposed to do now that we are stuck in a cell?"

            Mithborien shrugged. "Wait for something to happen?"

            Just then the huge ship shuddered and a pounding echoed through the tier, The Insanities were thrown to the ground as the Leviathan rolled from side to side then everything calmed to a stop.

            Mithborien sat up rubbing her head. "I didn't mean that," she wailed.

~*~*~*~

[Cue first ad break and mind numbing suspense until next instalment.]

~*~*~*~

Hey, one can hope… and yeah I know it's not that good but it's been awhile.

~*~*~*~

HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS! 

IT'S BACK! 

Or getting there… Post production actually.

*pumps fist in air* 

Farscape is back for a mini series, mind you only four eps but its four more than we had before. 

WOO HOO! 

My obsession had meaning again.


End file.
